I first learned the power of questions from Barry Neil Kaufman, author of To Love Is To Be Happy With. “Bears,” as he likes to be called, teaches that you can. This is the first recording of Bruce Di Marsico to be released by his widow, Deborah Mendel. Bruce created the Option Method in In this live recording . The Collected Works of Bruce Di Marsico on the Option Method & Attitude, Vol. 1 [ Bruce Di Marsico, Deborah Mendel, Wendy Dolber, Frank Mosca, Aryeh.
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Di Marsico, the creator of Option, died Monday, December 4,after a long illness. These articles were were written by friends ri loving memory of Bruce. Some of them were originally published in the IOMA newsletter. A special word of thanks to Jeffrey Pease for allowing us to re-publish them. Several friends asked me to write something about Bruce for this issue. I had mixed emotions.
What could I say? Where would I begin? Should I let Bruce speak for himself? Where would I bryce Well, I will try, my friends, for you. Bruce was an extraordinary man, teacher, friend, husband.
He was out of this world.
He was down to earth. He loved to love. Sitting by his side for over twenty years in his groups, classes and workshops, I never tired of his lectures. To see him interact on a personal individual level with a student or friend was always a joy and many times, an awesome experience.
He had one simple truth to tell but each time he explained it, it was as if he had just breathed life into it for the first time. That is the beauty and the gift of what Bruce has left for us. Unceasing, constantly moving, more and more happy.
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Di Marsico As I sat thinking of what to say about my memories of Bruce, marico mind ranged over the years and the many wonderful things he had said that were so incredibly clarifying and insightful. I recalled the moments in his kitchen speaking about really nothing much at all: In brief, what Bruce was about most of the time was the pure zest of life, eating, laughing, joking around and pursuing a vast range of topics from everyday life with an ongoing, honest surge of wonder and excitement.
He was blunt and straightforward, but always in a way that was respectful and to the point. He never felt obliged to marskco himself in the slightest, and yet he would marsicoo whatever time it took to explore his motives and the responses of others in the service of helping them clarify some possible unhappiness they were experiencing. It was not obligation, just part of his joy of being with people that he cared about and talking about what he enjoyed most talking about: And always, always, I felt this enormous stream of kindness and compassion emanating from him.
It was an adventure to become gloriously entangled in the web of agreements and disagreements with him over this never ending feast of topics, from the sublime to the ridiculous. There was just happiness. Which brings me to the final part of this reminiscence. What precisely was so special about Bruce? To be sure, he had an inimitable style of presenting Option and of querying people about their unhappiness. It was unique and in the total context of who he was and how he was will never, to my mind, be duplicated.
But there was something more profound for me. Mxrsico him the freedom to be and to be happy stretched beyond space and time without restraint. There were never any questions about you, but only about why you would hold yourself back from being happy NOW! Initially I balked at the great chasm of awe that his presence represented, but being with him, like a flower in the presence of the sun, I felt the fullness of that freedom without restriction for the first time.
Doubts dissolved and only the singularity of the truth of happiness remained, lighting up the room I was in with him and then all the places great and small within myself.
The History of the Option Method as created by Bruce Di Marsico
Bruce Di Marsico taught me how to be happy. Every day I use his lessons to help me swim against the tide of belief in un-happiness in which we live.
Near the beginning of our friendship Bruce came to my house for dinner. We had spaghetti with my son, Barnaby who, at 3 or 4 years of age, was not known for his good manners. He insisted tenaciously on his right to march to the beat of a different social drummer.
My attempts to explain that people perceived his communication as hostile meant little or nothing to him.
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He figured it was their problem. I was definitely concerned about this dinner event. The baffled Barnaby said yes. Then he got down. I heard them talking. Barnaby was showing his books. There were tears in my eyes. Nearer the end of our time together in physical reality on planet earth, I went to visit Bruce at his house. He was in great pain from many severe health problems.
We talked and had lunch together. He gave me an Option session. He said he wanted me to know how he worked. I had never experienced an individual session with Bruce, only classes and groups.
Then my friend Anne Grete arrived to pick me up. She waited until my session was over then came in to visit with us id a few moments. They chatted about where she lived New Jersey and why. Anne Grete said she guessed she had stayed in Ulster County where she was born for so long because mmarsico was scared to leave. She had never been afraid to leave Ulster County.
I never spent time with Bruce without uncovering another unhappy assumption. I relished that moment of surprise at having missed the belief, like the moment when a missing puzzle piece jumps out to become so obvious! These beliefs about un-happiness are so imbedded in my concept of reality, of how brucee is. And I am so grateful for the abundant opportunities to find them and to watch them turn into marsiico of amusement before my wondering eyes.
I remember you Bruce, with love, with gratitude and with happiness. I hope you are happy too and free from pain. There will never be a way we could demonstrate or give ENOUGH to fully express the extent of our appreciation and gratitude for your existence.
Time with him was mystical and transforming. His truths a simple soothing balm. He could cut through a lifetime’s worth of gnarled rooted anguish, and redefine what was and is, in a completely different way. I bduce through his eyes, and btuce voice as he spoke ageless wisdom, guiding me through myself, and changing me forever.
A powerful man with a profound gift.
In Memoriam to Bruce Bruce M. Remembrance – by Deborah Mendel Several friends asked me to write something about Bruce for this issue. Di MarsicoRemembrance – by Frank Mosca As I sat thinking of what to say about my memories of Bruce, my mind ranged over the years and the many wonderful things he had said that were so incredibly clarifying and insightful.
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